


Say you'll haunt me

by fvartoxin



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: M/M, Not planning on uploading most things from HS Creative Writing class, Nothing here is even from that class but I felt it worth mentioning, Other, Previously toxic relationship, Some of that's a little personal, The rest would not translate well to internet text format, more old work, not these two again....says literally everyone but me, now you ALL get to suffer!, the d.A. crowd is surely tired of them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:07:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22853710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fvartoxin/pseuds/fvartoxin
Summary: Maybe one day I'll write something with these two that is actually more than passable...again. The day I wrote this, perhaps, was not quite the day. Or maybe I'm just too hard on myself.I'm not the best at writing summaries for the older stuff. Check back later.
Relationships: Dunalon, OC/OC





	Say you'll haunt me

"I'm sorry, still." Duncan was only _somewhat_ conscious at the moment, peering at the undersized and fawn-colored shape sorting herbs just a few feet in front of him through half-lidded and unfocused eyes. "Don't think I'll ever be able to say that enough. However overused I've made one singular word in the..." The behemoth of a tortoiseshell cat paused, muttering under his breath as he attempted to count in his head. The passage of time had blurred and eaten away at his memory, but certainly not as much as the near decade and a half worth of opioid and other painkiller abuse had. **That** had at least caused brain damage, however small the amount. He messed up a few times, and eventually, the other currently awake feline in the room intervened.

"Twelve years. It has been that much, minimum." Hawktalon spoke without looking at their mate, and placed a few more plant clippings into the assigned alcoves before stepping back, satisfied. "I will say that things are different enough than they were all those moon cycles ago. Will this ever be perfect? No. Carries too much baggage for that; too many things to unpack within the two lifetimes we were gifted this time around. Far too much." Giving themselves a shake; for it grew cold after the Sun had been down for a few hours and their fur was considerably shorter than Duncan's - the senior medicine cat slowly shuffled towards their mate and allowed themselves to curl up at his side, tucking their feet underneath their fatter body. "I do not...do not think I will ever be able to truly recover from a significant portion of those twelve long years, but I am letting bygones be bygones despite past life experiences telling me otherwise. Too old for further conflict with anyone; brother is even exhausting." At the thought of Bearclaw, Hawktalon let out a rough sigh, shoving their flattened and scarred face into Duncan's fur and staying like that for a while before pulling back to look him in the eyes. "You know this by now. There is residual pain, and some things are difficult to look beyond for, but." Here the medicine cat took a slow, shaky breath. "I love you, though it is foolish. And I will never stop loving you, and I know you well enough. You are the same. In that respect."

He shifted so that he was encircling them a little better, and took some time to quietly listen to the entirety of their speech before speaking. "That's not gonna stop me from wondering how I ever deserved landing somebody like you t'begin with. I don't hate myself enough right now t'say that I should've stayed with Mousefur, but. Sometimes I do. Ain't admitting that in public even if it kills me, though," he grumbled. "...Hmm. Tonight's just 'unrealistically sappy' night, it seems. Too late for much else now; I started it." Duncan scoffed wearily, raising a paw to his face and absentmindedly beginning to comb through the longer fur on his chin. "Y'know, I'd be a little concerned if we still knew nothing about each other after this long. Wouldn't you?"

"Strings of fate operate strangely. It is unlikely any cat, whether living or dead, will ever understand." Hawktalon shrugged, and although it initially seemed that they were going to say much more on the subject they decided to let things go in the end. "And I would certainly have questions as well. Mainly 'why do we still bother cohabitating so closely?' That is, if said hypothetical situation is exactly the same as it is now." Hawktalon yawned; they'd been more tired than they initially thought. "There are many ways that things could go, or could have gone in the past."

"Maybe someday somebody'll get things figured out, though I doubt it," he said, quickly tiring of grooming and setting his paw back down. "But hey, we're stuck with knowing a bunch of embarrassing shit about each other now. Can't exactly forget any of that. Don't think I'd want to anyway." That last sentence was punctuated with a look which somehow managed to be both sympathetic and incredibly sexually suggestive simultaneously. "What time is it, anyways, other than 'late'?"

"My eyesight may be poor to the point of my being near-blind, but I didn't need to see the look on your face just now." Hawktalon rolled their eyes while he grinned. "Considering that you've spent the past week and then some barely able to stand or walk on your own after my CrestClan colleague and I had to drag you halfway across the lake and back, I wouldn't say that's such a good idea. Also, it is still several hours from dawn. Perhaps it is best we both get some actual rest? It is best for the Clan to be alert with these... _developments_." Hawktalon pointedly arched a brow. "While I would be lying to myself if I said I never enjoyed our more intimate moments, now is not the time in any case." They angled their batlike ears in the direction of the slumbering form of their former apprentice (Bearclaw, meanwhile, had been declining to share a nest with either of the pair for a while. His presence had been handy during the colder months, but not during the peak of the warm season). "Try and sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day, perhaps."

Duncan merely stuck his abnormally long tongue out at them, his eyes narrowing momentarily before a more serious expression overtook his sharp features. " _Please_ , Princess. You underestimate me. I've had worse, a little weakness from heat exhaustion ain't gonna kill me." Never mind the fact that it nearly **did** over a week earlier, and that a fair amount of normal tasks were still a struggle for Duncan due to that combined with his advanced age. He thought about this for a good, long while. "...On second thought, maybe for one night I'll relent." The tortoiseshell chuckled sheepishly. "I don't doubt Rockstar'll pull something within the next few days or weeks, whether it be forcing a Gathering at the most inopportune time he can think of or what. Maybe he's thought about shit by now, though in all honesty I've gotta wonder if he's got a working ability to make decisions to begin with." 

" _Me_? Underestimate _you_? Perhaps others would," Hawktalon murmured, more amused at this than much else. "Correction: others would. Don't strain yourself." If it was possible for them to lean into him more, then they'd certainly be trying. "In terms of the DawnClan leader, wait and see. It is all we can do. Am no longer sure what to make of StarClan's supposed 'guiding' abilities in this day and age, and after this long of holding the position of spiritual speaker, but hopefully things will turn out okay. We will all wait. That is the only option. If not, then there are cats such as my daughter, who are more than willing to restore balance through potentially unpleasant means." Hawktalon shuddered, grimacing. More death and destruction wasn't a thing which the healer wanted to see in the remainder of their lifetime, however long or short it ended up being. They doubted Featherstar would go _that_ far, but who knew anymore? Desperation could drive a cat to do such strange things. "The night's border has remained in a state of disrepair since the Great Battle. StarClan, Dark Forest...they share the same territories now. It does not matter where a cat is destined to end up. They will be in the same place for the rest of eternity."

"Our 'good and wise' leader is, unsurprisingly, an unfriendly, somewhat murderous asshole," he commented, sneering. "And that's saying something coming from a guy like me. That's saying a lot, honestly. No offense to you, of course; I know you've always been a better parent than I have. Can't always help how your kids turn out." There was a brief note of regret in Duncan's voice. "Hell, at least **I'm** up-front about being an ass."

"She has tried, though I think it is becoming more obvious to the Clan that she does not truly care for them as individuals anymore," Hawktalon admitted in a barely audible voice, eyes darting from side to side as if they were scared of being heard. "But she would never turn on all of her Clanmates at once. Though her methods have been getting questionable, she is still tactful enough to realize when she crosses multiple lines of conduct. And offense has not been taken; Featherstar's thoughts have always been her own, not something which I or anyone else planted within her. Though I tried and am still trying, I never could break through to her the way I did with Birchfang...or any of our own, for that matter. Within the past few years, however, something has changed." Their ears flattened against their head. "Perhaps, sooner than we think, there will be dark days ahead for all the Clans. But I am trying to not unintentionally invite karma, for once."

"I don't pray and you know I don't; there ain't a point. But, if I **did**..." he let himself trail off into the open air, and moved to rest his head on top of his mate's, angling himself so that his longer patches of fur didn't fall into their eyes.

"I know," Hawktalon said faintly. "Believe me, I know."

They were both quiet for a while, staring into the dark.

"...It is late. We really should get some sleep," the medicine cat said eventually.

Duncan merely nodded agreement this time.

The two settled down after what had seemed like hours, twining around each other so tightly that it was hard to tell where one cat ended and the other began.


End file.
